That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
