the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
there's paper in my vomit.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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