Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
