And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
