I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
