Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I wish there were birth control emojis
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
