if you like me you must not know who I am
That's intense
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
