I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
