Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
