Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
