These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
