Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize