is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
