She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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