Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
