oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You need a sexual gate keeper
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Randomize
