My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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