yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
