I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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