So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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