I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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