Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I think I am morally bankrupt
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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