You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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