Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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