No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
