he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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