Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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