dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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