Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
