Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
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