Her vagina should come with caution tape.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Randomize
