This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
