Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
