there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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