is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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