some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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