9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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