wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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