he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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