3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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