I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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