I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
