i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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