I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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