I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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