bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
