Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
