you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
