I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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