you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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