Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
It was confusing and full of hummus
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
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