just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
