found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
should my penis look like a turkey
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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