They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
there is puke in my bra ... again
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
