I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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