How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
