dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
