Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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