You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
