God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize