But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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